Thank God for awkward decisions I suppose, or who knows what our lives would be like!
Wednesday 24 November 2010
Musings in the shower
I've just realised how difficult getting out of things is. Getting out of bed, of a soaking, warm shower, of lies/awkward situations, of relationships, of debt, of Topshop dresses, of a maze....perhaps these things are difficult for us to get out of due to the fact they are not something that can be taken lightly. They require decisions, which allow us to weigh up the pros and the cons and to act rationally. (extraordinarily hard to do when you're going through an anxiety/depression phase, anyway!)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Even the simplest decisions become huge when I'm in the grips of anxiety or depression. It's exhausting to decide whether I want one slice of toast or two, never mind whether I want to apply for that worthy job in a South African township. Anxiety and depression rob me of my ability to make good decisions. Result: I lose confidence in my ability to make good decisions.
ReplyDeleteThe Welsh poet Gwyneth Lewis, in her brilliant book Sunbathing in the Rain, offers this list of decisions which she has taken while feeling low:
1. Leaving someone.
2. Staying with the same person.
3. Running away to Brazil.
4. Going blonde (scuppered by her hairdresser, who refused to do it without a doctor's note confirming that she was of sound mind).
5. Training as a radio operator on board a Scandinavian tanker and going to sea.
6. Taking the veil.
7. Growing potatoes in the Scottish Highlands.
8. Baking her own bread and wearing a brown skirt.
9. All of the above.
She concludes - and I emphatically agree with this conclusion - that making decisions when you're anxious or depressed should be avoided if at all possible. From my own experience I would also offer this:
1. When you're feeling anxious or low, never take a decision which has long-term consequences.
2. If a decision *must* be made, approach a trusted and sane friend who has no vested interest in the outcome of the decision, and borrow his/her brain to assess the pros and cons and to discern the best way forward.